Toxic Relationship Recovery

October 2, 2023
Psychotherapist Mahler aims in her healing debut to guide readers away from romantic relationships that “make you feel devalued, attacked, or neglected” and toward self-affirmation and safety. According to the author, readers can trace the roots of their “own foundational constructs around relationships” back to the friends, religious beliefs, media (including TV shows and internet content), and family dynamics that shaped them, often in damaging ways. For example, children who’ve grown up trained to anticipate their parents’ needs are primed to unhealthily prioritize their partner’s later in life. After identifying common toxic relationship behaviors, including gaslighting and neglect, Mahler shows readers how to formulate a relationship exit plan and cope emotionally after ending things with someone (“Humanizing your feelings after a breakup is important, but missing them and needing to get back together are not the same thing”). Later, Mahler discusses how readers can work to establish healthy relationships with themselves by avoiding negative self-talk, practicing self-compassion, and setting manageable goals that “make you feel happy and authentically you.” Balancing compassion with smart, plainspoken truths, Mahler reminds readers that “normalized trauma is untreated trauma,” that “you are responsible for your own healing,” and that self-reflection is painful but necessary medicine, because “if you ignore where you’ve been, it’s almost impossible to heal from it.” It’s a game-changing resource for those seeking to reevaluate their relationships.