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Happiness Is a Choice You Make

Lessons from a Year Among the Oldest Old

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

A New York Times Bestseller!
An extraordinary look at what it means to grow old and a heartening guide to well-being, Happiness Is a Choice You Make weaves together the stories and wisdom of six New Yorkers who number among the "oldest old"— those eighty-five and up.
In 2015, when the award-winning journalist John Leland set out on behalf of The New York Times to meet members of America's fastest-growing age group, he anticipated learning of challenges, of loneliness, and of the deterioration of body, mind, and quality of life. But the elders he met took him in an entirely different direction. Despite disparate backgrounds and circumstances, they each lived with a surprising lightness and contentment. The reality Leland encountered upended contemporary notions of aging, revealing the late stages of life as unexpectedly rich and the elderly as incomparably wise.
Happiness Is a Choice You Make is an enduring collection of lessons that emphasizes, above all, the extraordinary influence we wield over the quality of our lives. With humility, heart, and wit, Leland has crafted a sophisticated and necessary reflection on how to "live better"—informed by those who have mastered the art.

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  • Reviews

    • Publisher's Weekly

      September 25, 2017
      New York Times reporter Leland (Hip: The History) delves into the ramifications of an arresting statistic—that more people are living past age 85 than at any other time—by following six individuals from this quickly growing age group. The octogenarians profiled, three men and three women, include a still-active avant-garde filmmaker, a retired civil servant, and a pioneering career woman. Leland skillfully weaves the wisdom gleaned from their experiences into a fascinating chronicle of the joys and difficulties of living into one’s 80s and beyond. The underlying theme conveyed by this varied group is to “spend your dwindling time and energy on the things that you can still do,” not on mourning those now out of reach. It is an uplifting message, one that researchers call “selective optimization with compensation.” By not shying away from the downside of old age—issues discussed here include illness, depression, and isolation, as well as memory and cognitive loss—Leland lends credence to his heartening story of how six seniors have nonetheless made the best of it. He also movingly shows, through his own example, how interacting with those much older than oneself can lead to seeing life in a new light. Leland’s unique, highly readable narrative posits that old age should not be viewed as a dreadful time, but rather as a life stage to embrace and celebrate

    • Booklist

      December 1, 2017
      This engaging book is based on award-winning journalist Leland's (Why Kerouac Matters, 2007) popular series of articles for the New York Times. He spent a year profiling six of the oldest old individuals who have passed the eighty-fifth birthday. This is not a record of the daily routines of this diverse socioeconomic group but rather of answers to questions regarding happiness, life, and death. Early chapters consider overarching themes, such as longevity, health and memory, and romance. The second part gives each elder a chapter, in which each becomes more distinct as backgrounds are filled in and characters are revealed, warts and all. Simultaneously, Leland documents how their collected wisdom impacts his actions as he faces personal turmoil because of an elderly, frail mother and his new, single status after the end of his marriage. Despite occasional repetition or bouts of dwelling on the obvious, Leland entertains and intrigues readers as six unique personalities emerge, sharing their reminiscences about love, heartache, aches and pains, and joy. This is a sympathetic and honest look at growing old.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2017, American Library Association.)

    • Publisher's Weekly

      May 28, 2018
      Veteran voice actor Petkoff subtly captures the personalities of the six subjects in New York Times reporter Leland’s study of the lives of New Yorkers over the age of 85. Following each of his subjects over the course of a year, Leland counters commonly held assumptions about this growing demographic and addresses the realities of aging. For the audio edition, Petkoff wisely opts outs of full-on characterizations, instead choosing to convey the individual demeanors of the three men and three women who comprise the study. His performance comes alive in the direct quotes and turns of phrases, such as nursing home resident Helen Moses’s feisty refrain “bring me a gin and tonic” when conversing about her active social life and romantic entanglements. Others don’t quite share Helen’s zest for new adventures, and Petkoff adjusts his tone to tackle Leland’s discussions of loneliness, depression, and even the wish to die. Petkoff’s balanced approach nicely complements the complexities of Leland’s research. A FSG/Crichton hardcover.

    • Kirkus

      Starred review from November 1, 2017
      New York Times reporter Leland (Why Kerouac Matters, 2007, etc.) chronicles the year he spent communing with the "oldest old," gleaning as much of value about his own life as about those he followed.Drawn from a remarkable newspaper series, this book, though sometimes repetitive and studded with occasional obvious insights, harbors far more than advice and received wisdom. The author offers an adaptive framework for a way of thinking about aging that can be transformational, and not in the conventional self-help sense. From the engrossing opening chapter to the close, Leland gives us a felicitous though practical perspective that mines a year in the life of six people ages 88 to 92, who "came from different backgrounds and social strata." Many readers will find it encouraging to know that the future need not be all decline and diminishment. The author does not gloss over the physical and emotional difficulties of advancing years, some of which may seem insurmountable. But guided by the evolving outlooks of his subjects, Leland discovers strategies for compensating, for enrichment and usefulness at any age, including his own. Divorced at 55, living alone for the first time, and responsible for an 86-year-old mother whose only wish is to die, Leland finds his own path to acceptance and joy. If the title of the book sounds banal, it is no less valid for its (deceptive) simplicity. It is, in fact, absolutely true, as the six culturally diverse "seniors" demonstrate in their own fascinating ways. Few books about aging show such clarity and purpose or so deftly blend cleareyed examinations of social issues with a realistic but hopeful cast of mind.In this edifying and often quite moving book, Leland presents the "lessons" taught by his subjects even as they themselves are learning them, and he does so with an empathy and thoroughness that deserve our gratitude.

      COPYRIGHT(2017) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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