July 8, 2013
This memoir of obligation overload mixes personal stories with impassioned, research-based rants about the struggles of working mothers in the U.S. Despite a supportive husband, good childcare, a successful Web design career, and a well-intentioned friend for a boss, Alcorn has to deal with anxiety and panic attacks. Though she tries to maintain control via cognitive behavioral therapy and sheer force of will, after the birth of her new baby and a work situation that requires her to return to work full-time almost immediately, she suffers a breakdown and dissociative anxiety that convinces her that quitting her job is the only sane choice, though she still must deal with residual anxiety, insomnia, and depression. Compared with the struggles of lower-income or single moms, Alcorn’s story reads as entitled; her guilt comes from leaving her kids at a loving daycare provider, and dealing with difficult clients and too much travel for work. But for Alcorn’s peers, the book is a brave admission that we are not all successfully managing our overbooked lives, and should not feel alone. On the whole, the book provides a powerful reminder that even well-to-do mothers do not thrive in our current system, that having a positive attitude, leaning in, or opting out aren’t viable choices for many women, and that other countries (such as Denmark and Sweden) serve working mothers more effectively.
July 15, 2013
Alcorn chronicles her descent into a nervous breakdown. "One-third of adults in the United States will have an anxiety problem within their lifetimes," writes the author in her honest portrayal of her slide into panic attacks and a full-blown breakdown, and "women are 60 percent more likely to suffer an anxiety disorder than men." In her late 30s, Alcorn had a successful, full-time career, three great childrenand a loving husband who also worked. What she didn't realize was that in her attempt to juggle the needs of her boss and clients with those of her young children and husband, she'd neglected to find time for herself. The slightest twist in a carefully plotted schedule, such as a sick child, a needy co-worker or an annoying client, threw a monkey wrench into her life, to the point where she could no longer function. "Unfortunately," she writes, "the juggling act of working and parenting can put you in a perpetual state of fight or flight. The adrenaline glands start producing stress hormones like mad....Eventually, the nervous system maxes out, and the body goes haywire." When she did manage to balance all the elements, she felt guilty. At work, she wanted to be with her kids; at home, she thought about work, and she came to realize through support groups and research that she was definitely not alone in feeling overwhelmed. Alcorn's moving account is pertinent for American women and men who are trying to chase their own version of the American dream, and she offers helpful suggestions and techniques to combat the inevitable stress encountered along the way. An eye-opening, expressive narrative on an often hidden but common problem in American society.
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